Have You Ever…

Have You Ever…

Have you ever wanted to just quit your job?

When I was without children I would never have stayed at a job I didn’t like. But now with 2 kids and a new home, I feel stuck. Not because of them but because it feels selfish to leave a job I’ve had for 11 years with no real backup plan. The hubby says “if you’re that unhappy just leave…we’ll figure it out” but I still can’t do it.  I’m trapped in my own “what if” nightmare. What if one of us gets sick? What if we have an emergency?  What if he loses his job? What if interest rates go up (they are by the way)? The “what ifs” are killing me. But what is more painful is the massive ball of misery pressing on my chest each morning as I sit in front of my computer and try to sort through my priorities for the day.  But who am I to be so ungrateful?  I have a job right? Why should I pray for a handsome package and some time off? How lazy am I? Then I look at how fast my kids are growing up  and wonder if it’s ok to be just a little bit selfish if it meant more quality time with them.

Just wondering  when I should be sleeping…

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2 thoughts on “Have You Ever…

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