Two weeks of summer break left and I feel as if I never even got started. I finally have a week off…the last week of the kids break. It’s not ideal but at least it’s something…I guess. As I sit here on a bench at the Waterpark while the girls run wild with their dad and their cousins it hits me once again how much I long to stay home with them. Find some type of career that will allow me to spend more quality time with them and also work towards my own goals. The sun is warm and I feel at peace amongst the chaos of all these families trying to squeeze in the last bit of summer fun. I wonder if I’m broken somehow. I want to find a fulfilling job outside of the corporate world while still providing a sufficient contribution to the family finances but I have absolutely no idea how to go about it and there are times when I’m too scared to make a move. This ‘in between’ feeling is brutal. Fear of failure holding me back once again while I tell my children not to be afraid to try new things.
Something’s gotta give.