supermomdoesntlivehere

Because motherhood will never be a perfect science

Ok…So It’s Just a Birthday Party

Yesterday was the first time I actually left the Diva at a birthday party. Yes she’s nine but I come from a world where we just don’t drop off our kids at people’s houses and I am a mom who is not comfortable doing it.  Am I overprotective?  Hell ya. But both my husband and friend encouraged me to let her do this. So that she doesn’t grow up fearful and that she knows I trust her and blah blah freakin blah blah! I get it and I did it. But I surely did ask to come in for a bit so I could survey the surroundings and get a vibe. I talked with the mom and secretly watched my daughter for any discomfort and I was more than ready to drag her kicking and screaming back to the car if I felt the least bit weird about anything. But I didn’t. So I dragged myself back to the car and forced myself NOT to park in front of their house for the next 3 hours.
I had Baby Girl with me and as we left she looked at me and said “We’re leaving her here?”
Sigh…Let’s go kid before I change my mind.
So we went for ice cream…in the area.
We went window shopping…in the area.
We looked for a mother’s day gift for nana…in the area.
Feeling as if my brain was split in two parts as I explored the shops with Baby girl and at the same time wondered if that was my phone ringing (I gave Diva girl mine and her father’s cell phone numbers on a piece of paper ). Did I need to pick Baby girl up and run back to the car to save my child from some disaster?
It’s official…I am the overprotective mom that my mother was. You know…the one I didn’t think I’d be?
Well, Diva girl had a great time, safe and sound ( yes I was the first mom there…Don’t say a word ).
I’m gonna have to do this again aren’t I?

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I HATE THAT SOUND

There is a sound that can make any parent cringe when they hear it. A sound that tells you that one of your children may be hurt.

This sound will send you racing down the stairs without fear of falling as you hope and pray that there is no sign of blood or trauma. More importantly your prayers include a sincere request that the injury that you are more than positive has occurred does not involve the head (Please not the head!) or wait….not the face! Hold on….no broken bones please, please, please!!!

Sigh…

That sound…it’s an awful sound.

Diva girl likes to swing in between the space that separates our love seat from our couch (small living room). She holds on to the arm of both and swings her feet back and forth. Being the carefree child that she is, she will swing without an awareness of her surroundings and always talking a mile a minute.

“Don’t do that, you can fall!”

“No I won’t!”

This has been the constant conversation regarding this very action (swinging on the arms of the couch) and has been said in many different ways by myself, her father as well as her Nana.

Well…today was the day that the ‘sound’ visited our house. The kids had just finished dinner and I ran upstairs to grab something (really can’t even remember what it was…) when all of a sudden…

BOOM, BANG or whatever it sounds like in your house

Now I’m running as I yell….”What was that?

No one answers which makes me crazy!

There she is…my Diva at the bottom of the stairs holding her head.

Sigh…

“You always tell me not to do it…” This is how she starts her explanation, through the tears of course.

At first I’m too angry and too scared to comfort her. Small lecture and hugs afterward.

Plenty of ice and a prayer of thanks that she is still able to ‘talk’ through the explanation…

Watchful eyes on her and checking her breathing to make sure there are no symptoms of a concussion.

I’m not really sure how well I’ll sleep tonight.

I REALLY HATE THAT SOUND

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THAT’S NOT NICE!

 

What do you do when your child is under attack by another child?

Okay, so attack is a strong word…

But really, when you are teaching your child to respect others and follow the rules and then they come home to tell you that there is a child that picks on them or hits them or is mean to them on almost a daily or weekly basis….WHAT DO YOU DO?

When I was a kid, the choices were simple. My mother would be in the principal’s office before the morning bell rang the very next day. The principal would get an earful about not protecting her daughter, and the teacher would be drilled to the ‘Nth’ degree as to why she would let something like that happen. Then I would be required to take her down the hall or into the playground to show her the culprit and she would give them THE LOOK and that was the extra strength edition that meant “You crossed the line, kid!”

Oh yeah….my mom was that mom!

Diva girl has had run-ins with other kids since her days in daycare which is normal of course, as these little ones start to learn about respecting personal space, sharing and ‘using their words’ to express their feelings. Every incident is upsetting to her and always tugs at my heart. Now that she’s older and in school, it makes me angry and concerned when I hear that another child has hit her or bothered her in some way. Her father and I have both talked to her about choosing kids who play nicely as her friends and speaking up for herself and telling the teacher when she is feeling ‘bullied’.

The thing with my kid is….everyone wants to be her friend!

The Good, the Bad and the Bully!!!!!  (Thought I was gonna say something else, huh?)

Diva girl has always been a part of the group. Her group has always consisted of mostly boys and maybe one or two other girls. But she has always played hard and fast in the playground. The running joke in her daycare was that she needed her own incident report journal because there was never a week (and sometimes day) where myself or her father didn’t have to initial the page that detailed the accident she had while she was outside. When I’d ask her what happened, it usually started out with “I was running and…”

So she’s always played with lots of boys and they love playing with her because she can run as fast as they can and she is not afraid to climb, jump or roll as high or hard.

Sigh…doesn’t help the laundry situation, let me tell ya!

But being part of this group also leaves her a target to some aggressive behaviour and tough as she may sound, she is a very kind person and she’s not a fighter…AT ALL.  She can talk back like nobody’s business and she will not back down from an argument, but she also has not grasped the concept of defending herself from kids that forget to ‘keep their hands to themselves’. In daycare and school she has been taught to work through conflict with words and peaceful alternatives. Okay, I get that…and as her parents, we have always taught her to respect others.

But I’m her mom and when some kid walks up to her and punches her in the stomach or tries to bite  her….????

Ummm…..a hug or a high five isn’t really what’s crossed my mind.

Know what I mean?

 

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I AM GRATEFUL

After I heard about the horrible things that happened in Newtown, Connecticut this week, my prayers changed a bit….

Thank you for my five year old spilling milk on the table.

I’m grateful.

Thank you for my 2 year old not falling asleep until almost 11pm last night;

I’m grateful.

Thank you for the battle to get my kids ready for school and daycare this morning.

I’m grateful.

Thank you for Diva girl having an accident in my bed after having a nightmare at 4am in her room.

I’m grateful.

They fought over a bag of popcorn today and cried when their father took it away.

What a beautiful sound.

Baby girl had a tantrum yesterday because she didn’t want to go to bed.

What a blessing.

I am thankful; I am grateful for every challenge, big or small that I am blessed enough to face with these two beautiful girls.

Thank you. Thank you. Dear God, thank you.

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WHAT A NIGHT…

The girls have a habit of somehow ending up in my room at some point in the night. Diva girl isn’t so bad anymore, since she started school she is so tired that most of the time she sleeps right through the night. Baby girl still gets up once a night and I know that there are all kinds of advice out there about getting her to fall back asleep on her own, but man, some nights I’m so exhausted, all I want is peace. So yes, her sleep habits are not great and I am a bad mommy. Usually when they do end up in my room, I wake up achy and cranky because there are only so many legs, knees and elbows that I can fend off at 3am.

Sigh…

I complain to my mother and my co-workers and my friends about what a rough night I had because I couldn’t have my bed ‘child-free’ once again.

There’s a storm out there named ‘SANDY’ and she’s wreaking havoc all throughout the U.S. and Canada….

So, my girls are tucked neatly in my bed and I’m about to cuddle up and feel their warmth tonight…elbows and all.

Good night.

Be safe.

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DANCING DEFENSE

Well, the past 2 days have been pretty quiet on the school bus. No one is hitting my child and she is getting to school without mishap. I know this because of another drive by….don’t judge me okay? I’ll have you know that my mother (aka Nana) did her own drive by. She made me drive her there!

Sigh…

So, I’ve been seriously wondering if I should put Diva girl in some kind of martial arts class. I’ve always wanted any daughter of mine to take dance classes and wear a tutu and Diva girl loves to dance, but now I think maybe the frills need to be accessorized with a black belt. This way she can karate chop and plié the heck out of any bullies that dare to mess with her. Do you think there’s a hip-hop karate class, or a jujitsu jazz class or even a ballet taekwondo class?

What….too much?

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SIGH…THIS MOM THING AGAIN

I am proud to say that I did NOT meet Diva girl at school today! Yay me!

I did a drive by instead!

Listen, I never said I was perfect!

I was happy to see her safe and sound standing beside a teacher waiting to go inside. So I just kept on driving.

All was good in my world…until she came home and told me that one of the kids on the bus hit her! GRRR!

Apparently when she was standing with the teacher it was because she had been crying and just finished telling her what happened. In my efforts to be discreet, I didn’t see her tears.

How could I not have seen them? I feel like the worst mom in the world right now.

But tomorrow I will be speaking with the bus driver and the school.

Unhappy mom signing off.

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THIS MOM THING…

Soooo….tomorrow is the second week of school and I am NOT meeting Diva girl at school when she gets off the bus. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER.

Okay, if I say it enough times, it should sink in by the morning and I should be fine. Sigh.

Ugh…this mom thing is hard. There is no book in the world that can prepare you for the worry, the “what ifs”, the heart stopping fear and the unending flow of tears that become a permanent part of your world once you become a mom. Can you imagine if someone passed you a manual in your early twenties that told you in great detail how you would become this mushy, emotional ball of nerves at the merest thought of anything slightly negative happening to your child? How your world stops when they are hurt or sick; or how the feeling of relief at their well-being can reduce you into a pool of water?

All you’ll ever hear is that motherhood isn’t easy.

But it is rewarding. Aside from the worrying, there is the laughter and the hugs and the wet kisses. There are the “I love you Mommy” times and the “snuggle up” times. There is the pride in their accomplishments and their growth and development. When they look back at you with a thumbs up to say they’re okay and the smiles when they’ve finally tied their own shoelace or zipped up their jacket. There is the ultimate joy of learning to ride a bike or jumping rope, when they say “Mommy, I did it!”

Ugh…isn’t this mom thing great?

Sooo….I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER!

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TIME FOR SCHOOL…CONT’D…AGAIN!

So the second day of school wasn’t that great. There was complete chaos outside and when I got to the school (yes…I met her at school a second time!), Diva girl was standing around by herself without any acknowledgment from any of the teachers. Her teacher was nowhere to be found.

Now aren’t you glad I went to the school?

Believe me, I was not impressed. When I think of the fact that no one really even knew that my child was there, all the “what ifs” come rushing back. When her teacher finally decided to grace us with her presence, it was to respond to my concerns in a manner that was so condescending….

I’m gonna stop there, because now I’m getting worked up all over again.

But just so you know, today was different and very organized and I am somewhat comforted by the turnaround.

HOWEVER…I’m still miffed at the attitude of her teacher, especially when I found out after school that Diva girl was sent to TIME OUT on her 2nd day for talking too loudly in class.

I SAID… ON HER SECOND DAY!

Seriously? Who does that??? Especially to a girl who has never had a ‘time out’ in daycare or in JK. What happened to giving warnings? What happened to allowances for the first few days as the children got used to new teachers with new rules?

Diva girl told me that she started crying when she was sent to her time out. This doesn’t surprise me since she’s such a people pleaser. To her, to be seen as the ‘bad kid’ would have been devastating.

Okay, I’m mad all over again…

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Keep Our Children Safe

I started blogging to recount with humour the many trials I experience as a mother of 2 small children. My goal is to look at these times with laughter and a pinch of sarcasm, hoping to find other parents that can relate.

But today, I’m not feeling so funny. After watching the news for the past few days and hearing more details about the Tori Stafford case, I don’t feel much like laughing. I’ll admit I’ve even cried a little. I won’t go into the details for those who don’t know about it. It’s much too disturbing.

I wanted to post this to remind all of the amazing parents out there who love, cherish and do the best to protect their children…to just hug them and tell them you love yet again! Keep them close and teach them about strangers…who to trust and who not to. Warn them while trying not to scare them. Remind them that not everyone they know is a true friend….

Last but not least, if you believe in a Creator, pray fervently to keep them safe from people like the two that hurt little Tori.

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