supermomdoesntlivehere

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THAT’S NOT NICE!

 

What do you do when your child is under attack by another child?

Okay, so attack is a strong word…

But really, when you are teaching your child to respect others and follow the rules and then they come home to tell you that there is a child that picks on them or hits them or is mean to them on almost a daily or weekly basis….WHAT DO YOU DO?

When I was a kid, the choices were simple. My mother would be in the principal’s office before the morning bell rang the very next day. The principal would get an earful about not protecting her daughter, and the teacher would be drilled to the ‘Nth’ degree as to why she would let something like that happen. Then I would be required to take her down the hall or into the playground to show her the culprit and she would give them THE LOOK and that was the extra strength edition that meant “You crossed the line, kid!”

Oh yeah….my mom was that mom!

Diva girl has had run-ins with other kids since her days in daycare which is normal of course, as these little ones start to learn about respecting personal space, sharing and ‘using their words’ to express their feelings. Every incident is upsetting to her and always tugs at my heart. Now that she’s older and in school, it makes me angry and concerned when I hear that another child has hit her or bothered her in some way. Her father and I have both talked to her about choosing kids who play nicely as her friends and speaking up for herself and telling the teacher when she is feeling ‘bullied’.

The thing with my kid is….everyone wants to be her friend!

The Good, the Bad and the Bully!!!!!  (Thought I was gonna say something else, huh?)

Diva girl has always been a part of the group. Her group has always consisted of mostly boys and maybe one or two other girls. But she has always played hard and fast in the playground. The running joke in her daycare was that she needed her own incident report journal because there was never a week (and sometimes day) where myself or her father didn’t have to initial the page that detailed the accident she had while she was outside. When I’d ask her what happened, it usually started out with “I was running and…”

So she’s always played with lots of boys and they love playing with her because she can run as fast as they can and she is not afraid to climb, jump or roll as high or hard.

Sigh…doesn’t help the laundry situation, let me tell ya!

But being part of this group also leaves her a target to some aggressive behaviour and tough as she may sound, she is a very kind person and she’s not a fighter…AT ALL.  She can talk back like nobody’s business and she will not back down from an argument, but she also has not grasped the concept of defending herself from kids that forget to ‘keep their hands to themselves’. In daycare and school she has been taught to work through conflict with words and peaceful alternatives. Okay, I get that…and as her parents, we have always taught her to respect others.

But I’m her mom and when some kid walks up to her and punches her in the stomach or tries to bite  her….????

Ummm…..a hug or a high five isn’t really what’s crossed my mind.

Know what I mean?

 

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THAT FEELING

You know that feeling you get when you watch your kids sleep?

I’m not talking about RELIEF after a particularly hard day.

I mean the warm, mopey feeling when you look at your sleeping child and just see the quiet innocence and beauty that is your baby, toddler, child, or teen.

Sigh…

Forgotten are the trials of the day. The arguments and yelling, chastising and cajoling that have completely exhausted you and drained you of motivation to do anything else.

There they lay, breathing softly; totally spent from a day of mini or major chaos; and now resting somewhere in dreamland.

You look at them and wonder why time insists on moving so quickly. Where has the baby fat gone? When did they get so big? Who will they be when they grow up? Will I have taught them all they need to know? Am I doing a good job as a parent? What more should I be doing?

All of these things go through your mind as you watch them sleeping. They follow you to bed and maybe visit your subconscious through your dreams. You may wake up feeling just a little melancholy for special moments that have already passed you by.

But you feel grateful for another day….

Then the kids get up and someone starts crying; someone refuses to brush their teeth and a fight ensues…

Has anyone figured out how to fast forward to bedtime???

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YUP…I SAID IT

Have you ever tried to get a five year old to eat? Sigh…

Anyone would think I was trying to torture my child! I can’t believe this is the same girl who as a baby could eat anything you put in front of her. Let me take this moment to mention that she was sooo chunky! She was so cute you just wanted to squeeze her!

As I was saying…

We actually would have to wrestle the chicken drumstick from her pudgy little fingers as she ate every last morsel of the bone and attempted to devour the bone itself. She was only two at the time!

Oh, but now she is a sophisticated five year old with discerning tastes, that can take one look at her dinner plate and know through some children’s intuition that everything on her plate is “disgusting”.

I have been reduced to the typical “Do you know how many children are starving in the world?!”

Yup…I said it.

She just looked at me like I was crazy. I’m starting to think I am anyway…only crazy people try to reason with their children!

My mother thinks it’s some kind of Karma. When I was her age I refused to eat too. When my mother used the “starving children in Africa…” line on me…I told her she could mail my dinner to them since I didn’t want it.

Yup…I said it.

See how the ‘wheel of life’ turns???

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THIS MOM THING…

Soooo….tomorrow is the second week of school and I am NOT meeting Diva girl at school when she gets off the bus. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER.

Okay, if I say it enough times, it should sink in by the morning and I should be fine. Sigh.

Ugh…this mom thing is hard. There is no book in the world that can prepare you for the worry, the “what ifs”, the heart stopping fear and the unending flow of tears that become a permanent part of your world once you become a mom. Can you imagine if someone passed you a manual in your early twenties that told you in great detail how you would become this mushy, emotional ball of nerves at the merest thought of anything slightly negative happening to your child? How your world stops when they are hurt or sick; or how the feeling of relief at their well-being can reduce you into a pool of water?

All you’ll ever hear is that motherhood isn’t easy.

But it is rewarding. Aside from the worrying, there is the laughter and the hugs and the wet kisses. There are the “I love you Mommy” times and the “snuggle up” times. There is the pride in their accomplishments and their growth and development. When they look back at you with a thumbs up to say they’re okay and the smiles when they’ve finally tied their own shoelace or zipped up their jacket. There is the ultimate joy of learning to ride a bike or jumping rope, when they say “Mommy, I did it!”

Ugh…isn’t this mom thing great?

Sooo….I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER!

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TIME FOR SCHOOL…CONT’D…AGAIN!

So the second day of school wasn’t that great. There was complete chaos outside and when I got to the school (yes…I met her at school a second time!), Diva girl was standing around by herself without any acknowledgment from any of the teachers. Her teacher was nowhere to be found.

Now aren’t you glad I went to the school?

Believe me, I was not impressed. When I think of the fact that no one really even knew that my child was there, all the “what ifs” come rushing back. When her teacher finally decided to grace us with her presence, it was to respond to my concerns in a manner that was so condescending….

I’m gonna stop there, because now I’m getting worked up all over again.

But just so you know, today was different and very organized and I am somewhat comforted by the turnaround.

HOWEVER…I’m still miffed at the attitude of her teacher, especially when I found out after school that Diva girl was sent to TIME OUT on her 2nd day for talking too loudly in class.

I SAID… ON HER SECOND DAY!

Seriously? Who does that??? Especially to a girl who has never had a ‘time out’ in daycare or in JK. What happened to giving warnings? What happened to allowances for the first few days as the children got used to new teachers with new rules?

Diva girl told me that she started crying when she was sent to her time out. This doesn’t surprise me since she’s such a people pleaser. To her, to be seen as the ‘bad kid’ would have been devastating.

Okay, I’m mad all over again…

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GRAND PARENTING

Grandparents are a blessing. They are there for emergency babysitting, they provide comfort, advice (lots of advice!) and much needed support.

Children are very smart and know exactly how to play their grandparents to get the attention they crave.

Wait…this doesn’t only apply to my children, does it?

My oldest has always had a very close relationship with my mother. At times I’ve almost felt like I was competing with my mother to raise my child the way I saw fit. Is that crazy? Don’t get me wrong, my mom is the best! She’s there whenever I need her and she’ll drop anything or anyone to come when I call. But grandchildren make your parents lose their mind!!!

Wait…this doesn’t only apply to my parents, does it?

Oh come on people…don’t leave me hanging!

There are things that I could never get away with when I was a child that my mother finds so cute in my children now. My mother’s famous tag line is “Life’s too short….!”  Ha! If I did or said half the things that my kids do now when I was a kid, I would have gotten a look that could freeze the Sahara! But my kids know that all they have to do is squeeze out a few tears and make enough noise to make their grandmother say “Okay, okay, here you go…don’t cry!” Ugh!

What’s worse is that my oldest will hide behind her grandmother when she knows she’s misbehaving and make a face that says “Ha, ha, you can’t get me!”

But she’s only five….it doesn’t occur to her that Nana has to go home sometimes……

(Insert evil laugh here)

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