supermomdoesntlivehere

Because motherhood will never be a perfect science

TIME FOR BED…

Bedtime stall tactic: “Mommy, can I have some warm milk?”

Guilt trip: “Pleeease Mommy, I really, really, need it!”

 

Thought: I really, really need a glass of wine right now…

Observation: Saying that out loud might sound like I have a problem

 

Conclusion: Kids get away with everything

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INDEPENDENCE

Baby Girl is 2 ½ years old. She can keep up with her sister during play time and can call the shots on what type of game they should play. Sometimes she’s the Mommy and Diva girl is the baby, or she may decide that they’re both mommies going shopping and ‘yours truly’ is the shop keeper.

She can have full conversations and explain what she likes or what she wants. Those of us that live with her can easily decipher any words that are not clear, although most of them are. She still drops the ‘s’ on words like “s-now”, “s-nort”, “s-cary”, “s-mell” and “s-noring” but otherwise she is pretty coherent.

She is getting taller and awful mother that I am, I have bought all kinds of ‘skinny’ jeans in multiple colours for her (in an appropriate fit for toddlers, of course)…they just look sooooo cute!!!

…and you should hear her sing a song! She can make a song out of just about anything she’s doing.

But as she grows, so does her independent streak.  Join me if you will, on a quick trip down memory lane…to last Thursday.

Getting ready for school, daycare and work that morning… it was a fairly peaceful morning and we were all up at a reasonable time. For the most part, there were no issues at all with the girls co-operating.

Hallelujah!

But hold on, I celebrated too soon, silly me…

Baby girl, who is in love with the concept of playing dress up, decided that day that she wanted to wear her yellow “s-parkly” slippers. Now these ‘slippers’ are actually a pair of gold jelly sandals that are sparkly all over. I bought them at Old Navy last year and she re-discovered them in the back of her closet. Since then she has put them on every morning before we leave and every evening before bath time. The rule is that she can play in her shoes (if they’re clean) in her room until ‘time is up’ and she usually has no issue with it.

Until last Thursday morning….

Okay, so let’s skip the part where I explain why she can’t wear them (we live in Ontario, Canada and it’s March…you get it, right?) This is where the tantrum takes place.

I put on her coat, she takes it off. Put it on again, off again. Boots??? Ya, right! So I decided that the best thing to do was use some reverse psychology, because she’s 2 ½ and that should work, shouldn’t it?

So Diva girl and I get our coats and boots on and we grab our bags and we say goodbye to Baby girl as she is now in the living room and refusing to move. I grab my keys and turn off the light in the entry way.

She’s not moving.

So, we leave and I lock the door for dramatic effect.

Diva girl looks at me in expectation as we stand on the front step and says “I guess we’ll open it when she starts crying right?”

Right!

One minute, two minutes, three for good measure!

I open the door; because of course she is only 2 ½ and I don’t want this to turn into cruel and unusual punishment!

Ready?

Baby girl is watching TV (yes, she turned it on), coat and sweater off eating Melba toast and sitting on the living room floor. She gets up to see who is at the door and when she realizes it’s me, she sits back down to continue watching her show as if to say “Oh, it’s just you”

Sigh…

Yes, I’m sure she is only 2 ½.

Let’s just leave it there; needless to say my voice was ‘a bit’ stern before she decided to do me a favour and saunter over to put the ‘dreaded’ boots and coat on.

After seeing the look on my face, her daycare teacher asked her if she was having a good morning and the child had the nerve to say “YES”!

 

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ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

It’s been a while and so I thought that this blog would be an update on my two crazy kids and what they’ve been up to and just how crazy I’ve been driven. Until I opened the March edition of Today’s Parent magazine!

There were 2 pieces that I am almost certain were written just for me! I tell you the editor and writers of this magazine must know me or something. The fact that this month’s edition focused on getting organized spoke to me of course, because organization is NOT one of my strong points, no matter how hard I try.

The ‘Letter from Karine’ was the first piece I read and it basically outlines how Karine Ewart  has always thought of herself as an organized person but after becoming a mother, she recognizes that what she is really good at is making lists of all the things she is going to do one day when she actually has the time!

Oh man….I actually almost yelled out ‘AMEN!’

I think I was on cloud nine for a while as I basked in the knowledge that there are other women out there who, although have good intentions, cannot get as organized as they would like.

The next article that I am pretty sure is based on my life has nothing to do with organization.

Okay, listen to the title. Seriously, once you read it you’ll know why I am taping this article to my bedroom wall….

“RAISING A DRAMA QUEEN”

I mean come on!!!

Has this writer met my soon to be six year old???

I was practically clutching the pages of the magazine as I read the experiences this mother (Kristine Woudstra) has had with her daughter. I used to think that Diva girl somehow became dramatic around 4 years old, but really, when I think about her personality and even the day she was born, I realize drama was always a part of her being. She is the life of the party, she is a whirlwind, a continuously moving force; the concept of relaxing to her is almost horrifying. When I’ve had enough noise and chaos, I’ll tell her to sit down for a few minutes and find something quiet to do and she looks at me as if I’m speaking a foreign language. The smallest (and I mean smallest) infraction can send her into a gigantic emotional meltdown. Her famous line (now being copied by her sister) is “Mommy, I just can’t stop crying!” This usually lasts until I tell her that if she’s that upset, she must need a nap and then as if by magic the tears are all but dried up.

Thank you Houdini…

But as dramatic as she is, just as the writer of this article says, she is a lot of fun; the one that everyone wants to know. Other parents will say “Oh she’s your daughter?” This is usually because their kids go home every day talking about her and her antics.

So, I guess I should say thank you to the staff of Today’s Parent for thinking of me when they wrote this month’s articles.

That sounds conceited doesn’t it?

Well, you guys already know I’m not perfect!

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THIS MOM THING…

Soooo….tomorrow is the second week of school and I am NOT meeting Diva girl at school when she gets off the bus. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER.

Okay, if I say it enough times, it should sink in by the morning and I should be fine. Sigh.

Ugh…this mom thing is hard. There is no book in the world that can prepare you for the worry, the “what ifs”, the heart stopping fear and the unending flow of tears that become a permanent part of your world once you become a mom. Can you imagine if someone passed you a manual in your early twenties that told you in great detail how you would become this mushy, emotional ball of nerves at the merest thought of anything slightly negative happening to your child? How your world stops when they are hurt or sick; or how the feeling of relief at their well-being can reduce you into a pool of water?

All you’ll ever hear is that motherhood isn’t easy.

But it is rewarding. Aside from the worrying, there is the laughter and the hugs and the wet kisses. There are the “I love you Mommy” times and the “snuggle up” times. There is the pride in their accomplishments and their growth and development. When they look back at you with a thumbs up to say they’re okay and the smiles when they’ve finally tied their own shoelace or zipped up their jacket. There is the ultimate joy of learning to ride a bike or jumping rope, when they say “Mommy, I did it!”

Ugh…isn’t this mom thing great?

Sooo….I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER!

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IT’S THE DIVA IN HER

So at 5 years old, Diva girl has become more independent, more confident and….

MORE CRAZY!

Oh yes, I say crazy, because I sometimes think this child has LOST HER MIND!

When we’re out in public and she blatantly ignores the LOOK and laughs that beautiful laugh of hers as she misbehaves. It’s almost as if she’s daring me to make a scene. Now I’m not one for public displays, but I tell you, the child knows all of the ‘drive Mommy up the wall’ buttons to push and she is like the kid in the elevator….

She pushes every single one!

Sigh…

We have entered the arms crossed, foot stomping, bottom lip pouting phase. YAY!

“No, you can’t have that” and she takes the stance and depending on how she’s feeling that day, we may have tears just to make me feel special. But please do not forget the icing on top of it all….

“BUT MOMMY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Or

“MOMMY, YOU’RE MEAN!”

Ouch…that really hurts. However, if being mean is a result of not allowing her to dive head first of the living room sofa or finish a bag of Cheesies at 8:30 in the morning…..

Well then, yes I am!

But when it’s all said and done, I’m glad that she is developing a sense of herself and the courage to express her feelings.

I just can’t wait for puberty…

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