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What’s Happening…

Diva girl lost her two front teeth at the top. She got $8.50 (yes I was scrounging for change) and thank goodness she was happy with that.

Baby girl’s last swim class was today and we can all breathe a sigh of relief (until next Spring at least). Of course the last class was the only one where she didn’t cry (actually scream) through the whole thing. Makes sense…

Diva girl has been introduced to the ‘S’ word, the ‘F’ word and the finger…and she’s only in grade 1!

Baby girl has learned the art of manipulation. She’s realized that a few tears and telling her daycare teacher to call her mommy repeatedly will get me there sooner than normal. Throw in a refusal to eat her lunch and its game over. Until I get there and then she smiles as bright as the sun and eats two muffins in one sitting.

‘Me time’ consists of 20 minutes reading time before Baby girl wakes up on Saturday morning at 6:30 am. Something she and her sister refuse to do during the week when I need to get all 3 of us out of the house on time. If I let them they would both sleep until 8:30!

Tantrums, colds, vomit on the stairs, growing pains and attitude with a capital ‘TUDE’!

 

That was just the month of October!

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Seasons Change

Sigh…

Another summer nearly over.

Where does the time go?

Maybe it’s because I’m constantly reminded of how fast my children are growing.

Or how quickly they transition through different stages.

That makes me feel so melancholy when the season changes.

Their speech is clear and precise.

Their logic is often very hard to contradict.

They are independent and rebellious.

Their features are changing and the baby fat is quickly disappearing.

My heart seems to skip a beat whenever I look at them and see these things happening.

Diva girl starts grade one in September and Baby girl has one more year of daycare.

I’m not ready for the changes but it doesn’t matter because they happen anyway.

They say things like “Don’t worry mommy!” and “I’m a super big girl now!”

And I think….’Nope, you’re still my babies!’

But Diva girl told me the other day that if I called her ‘baby’ in public I would “totally embarrass” her.

Um….Hello?

I’m her mom. Embarrassing her is part of my job.

But as the fall season approaches and the weather gets eventually a little cooler (not too soon please)

I will give them both all the hugs I can get away with…

I’ll just tell them I’m trying to keep them warm

Little white lies….yup, that’s part of my job too….but only when absolutely necessary!

 

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THAT’S NOT NICE!

 

What do you do when your child is under attack by another child?

Okay, so attack is a strong word…

But really, when you are teaching your child to respect others and follow the rules and then they come home to tell you that there is a child that picks on them or hits them or is mean to them on almost a daily or weekly basis….WHAT DO YOU DO?

When I was a kid, the choices were simple. My mother would be in the principal’s office before the morning bell rang the very next day. The principal would get an earful about not protecting her daughter, and the teacher would be drilled to the ‘Nth’ degree as to why she would let something like that happen. Then I would be required to take her down the hall or into the playground to show her the culprit and she would give them THE LOOK and that was the extra strength edition that meant “You crossed the line, kid!”

Oh yeah….my mom was that mom!

Diva girl has had run-ins with other kids since her days in daycare which is normal of course, as these little ones start to learn about respecting personal space, sharing and ‘using their words’ to express their feelings. Every incident is upsetting to her and always tugs at my heart. Now that she’s older and in school, it makes me angry and concerned when I hear that another child has hit her or bothered her in some way. Her father and I have both talked to her about choosing kids who play nicely as her friends and speaking up for herself and telling the teacher when she is feeling ‘bullied’.

The thing with my kid is….everyone wants to be her friend!

The Good, the Bad and the Bully!!!!!  (Thought I was gonna say something else, huh?)

Diva girl has always been a part of the group. Her group has always consisted of mostly boys and maybe one or two other girls. But she has always played hard and fast in the playground. The running joke in her daycare was that she needed her own incident report journal because there was never a week (and sometimes day) where myself or her father didn’t have to initial the page that detailed the accident she had while she was outside. When I’d ask her what happened, it usually started out with “I was running and…”

So she’s always played with lots of boys and they love playing with her because she can run as fast as they can and she is not afraid to climb, jump or roll as high or hard.

Sigh…doesn’t help the laundry situation, let me tell ya!

But being part of this group also leaves her a target to some aggressive behaviour and tough as she may sound, she is a very kind person and she’s not a fighter…AT ALL.  She can talk back like nobody’s business and she will not back down from an argument, but she also has not grasped the concept of defending herself from kids that forget to ‘keep their hands to themselves’. In daycare and school she has been taught to work through conflict with words and peaceful alternatives. Okay, I get that…and as her parents, we have always taught her to respect others.

But I’m her mom and when some kid walks up to her and punches her in the stomach or tries to bite  her….????

Ummm…..a hug or a high five isn’t really what’s crossed my mind.

Know what I mean?

 

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ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?

It’s been a while and so I thought that this blog would be an update on my two crazy kids and what they’ve been up to and just how crazy I’ve been driven. Until I opened the March edition of Today’s Parent magazine!

There were 2 pieces that I am almost certain were written just for me! I tell you the editor and writers of this magazine must know me or something. The fact that this month’s edition focused on getting organized spoke to me of course, because organization is NOT one of my strong points, no matter how hard I try.

The ‘Letter from Karine’ was the first piece I read and it basically outlines how Karine Ewart  has always thought of herself as an organized person but after becoming a mother, she recognizes that what she is really good at is making lists of all the things she is going to do one day when she actually has the time!

Oh man….I actually almost yelled out ‘AMEN!’

I think I was on cloud nine for a while as I basked in the knowledge that there are other women out there who, although have good intentions, cannot get as organized as they would like.

The next article that I am pretty sure is based on my life has nothing to do with organization.

Okay, listen to the title. Seriously, once you read it you’ll know why I am taping this article to my bedroom wall….

“RAISING A DRAMA QUEEN”

I mean come on!!!

Has this writer met my soon to be six year old???

I was practically clutching the pages of the magazine as I read the experiences this mother (Kristine Woudstra) has had with her daughter. I used to think that Diva girl somehow became dramatic around 4 years old, but really, when I think about her personality and even the day she was born, I realize drama was always a part of her being. She is the life of the party, she is a whirlwind, a continuously moving force; the concept of relaxing to her is almost horrifying. When I’ve had enough noise and chaos, I’ll tell her to sit down for a few minutes and find something quiet to do and she looks at me as if I’m speaking a foreign language. The smallest (and I mean smallest) infraction can send her into a gigantic emotional meltdown. Her famous line (now being copied by her sister) is “Mommy, I just can’t stop crying!” This usually lasts until I tell her that if she’s that upset, she must need a nap and then as if by magic the tears are all but dried up.

Thank you Houdini…

But as dramatic as she is, just as the writer of this article says, she is a lot of fun; the one that everyone wants to know. Other parents will say “Oh she’s your daughter?” This is usually because their kids go home every day talking about her and her antics.

So, I guess I should say thank you to the staff of Today’s Parent for thinking of me when they wrote this month’s articles.

That sounds conceited doesn’t it?

Well, you guys already know I’m not perfect!

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MOTHER’S DOUBT

Self-doubt, it’s one of those things that can pretty much drive you crazy. As a mother it makes you cry. It makes you second guess your decisions and makes you over-analyze the ones you do make.

Was I too harsh in my punishment?

Did I really have to yell?

Maybe it was an accident…

Every day can present its own challenges and all good intentions go out the window.

I try to be patient, but there are days when patience escapes me.

I try to be calm, but I find only frustration.

I try to listen, only to see resistance at every turn.

I try to be the best mom I can be, but I often fall short of my own expectations.

But one thing motherhood has taught me is that children are so much more forgiving than adults are. Messing up is okay, because tomorrow is a new day!

Mistakes will be made. We just need to learn from them.

But on the days when you’re feeling especially bad, there is only one solution.

CHOCOLATE!!!

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YUP…I SAID IT

Have you ever tried to get a five year old to eat? Sigh…

Anyone would think I was trying to torture my child! I can’t believe this is the same girl who as a baby could eat anything you put in front of her. Let me take this moment to mention that she was sooo chunky! She was so cute you just wanted to squeeze her!

As I was saying…

We actually would have to wrestle the chicken drumstick from her pudgy little fingers as she ate every last morsel of the bone and attempted to devour the bone itself. She was only two at the time!

Oh, but now she is a sophisticated five year old with discerning tastes, that can take one look at her dinner plate and know through some children’s intuition that everything on her plate is “disgusting”.

I have been reduced to the typical “Do you know how many children are starving in the world?!”

Yup…I said it.

She just looked at me like I was crazy. I’m starting to think I am anyway…only crazy people try to reason with their children!

My mother thinks it’s some kind of Karma. When I was her age I refused to eat too. When my mother used the “starving children in Africa…” line on me…I told her she could mail my dinner to them since I didn’t want it.

Yup…I said it.

See how the ‘wheel of life’ turns???

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SIGH…THIS MOM THING AGAIN

I am proud to say that I did NOT meet Diva girl at school today! Yay me!

I did a drive by instead!

Listen, I never said I was perfect!

I was happy to see her safe and sound standing beside a teacher waiting to go inside. So I just kept on driving.

All was good in my world…until she came home and told me that one of the kids on the bus hit her! GRRR!

Apparently when she was standing with the teacher it was because she had been crying and just finished telling her what happened. In my efforts to be discreet, I didn’t see her tears.

How could I not have seen them? I feel like the worst mom in the world right now.

But tomorrow I will be speaking with the bus driver and the school.

Unhappy mom signing off.

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THIS MOM THING…

Soooo….tomorrow is the second week of school and I am NOT meeting Diva girl at school when she gets off the bus. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER.

Okay, if I say it enough times, it should sink in by the morning and I should be fine. Sigh.

Ugh…this mom thing is hard. There is no book in the world that can prepare you for the worry, the “what ifs”, the heart stopping fear and the unending flow of tears that become a permanent part of your world once you become a mom. Can you imagine if someone passed you a manual in your early twenties that told you in great detail how you would become this mushy, emotional ball of nerves at the merest thought of anything slightly negative happening to your child? How your world stops when they are hurt or sick; or how the feeling of relief at their well-being can reduce you into a pool of water?

All you’ll ever hear is that motherhood isn’t easy.

But it is rewarding. Aside from the worrying, there is the laughter and the hugs and the wet kisses. There are the “I love you Mommy” times and the “snuggle up” times. There is the pride in their accomplishments and their growth and development. When they look back at you with a thumbs up to say they’re okay and the smiles when they’ve finally tied their own shoelace or zipped up their jacket. There is the ultimate joy of learning to ride a bike or jumping rope, when they say “Mommy, I did it!”

Ugh…isn’t this mom thing great?

Sooo….I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER. I AM NOT MEETING HER!

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TIME FOR SCHOOL…CONT’D

So we made it through the first day with success! It was touch and go for a moment though. Every time Diva girl talked about the school bus or meeting new friends, her big brown eyes started to fill up. I tried my best to comfort her, but I recognize in her my fear of trying new things and meeting new people. It broke my heart and I almost lost it a couple of times. Just imagining how she would feel on the bus and at school, if not all of her friends from last year were in her class. I must admit I didn’t sleep well last night worrying about her on that bus out of my reach and Diva girl woke up at midnight and I knew it was nerves getting the best of her. So I tried to make all of her favourite things to eat for snack time and lunch. I even made a little heart out of construction paper and put it in her lunch bag, so that if she was feeling a little sad she could look at it to hopefully cheer her up. Then I took a deep breath, put a smile on my face and told her that “everything would be fine”.  Isn’t that a line that every mother keeps in her back pocket???

Well, being the Diva that she is…she was dressed to impress this morning, I must say. I bet you’re thinking I had something to do with that, aren’t you? You think you know me right?

Anyhoo, looking lovely as usual, even if she was very nervous; we took the obligatory first day of school pics with Baby girl in tow. Poor thing, Baby girl was sure she was going on the big bus too. She was posing her little heart out! Well, by the time they said the last chorus of “CHEESE!” and we saw the bus chugging up the road, Diva girl was so excited to be on the big bus, she gave us all a quick kiss and practically dragged me to the front of the line. Off she went, waving and smiling….all I wanted to do was cry! I was still “what if’ing”, but I promised to meet her at school today, and that is what I did. I wasn’t sure what I would find, but she was great! She’d already found old friends and was excited to start her day.

Whew!

Wait a minute…we have to do this again tomorrow?

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IT’S THE DIVA IN HER

So at 5 years old, Diva girl has become more independent, more confident and….

MORE CRAZY!

Oh yes, I say crazy, because I sometimes think this child has LOST HER MIND!

When we’re out in public and she blatantly ignores the LOOK and laughs that beautiful laugh of hers as she misbehaves. It’s almost as if she’s daring me to make a scene. Now I’m not one for public displays, but I tell you, the child knows all of the ‘drive Mommy up the wall’ buttons to push and she is like the kid in the elevator….

She pushes every single one!

Sigh…

We have entered the arms crossed, foot stomping, bottom lip pouting phase. YAY!

“No, you can’t have that” and she takes the stance and depending on how she’s feeling that day, we may have tears just to make me feel special. But please do not forget the icing on top of it all….

“BUT MOMMY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Or

“MOMMY, YOU’RE MEAN!”

Ouch…that really hurts. However, if being mean is a result of not allowing her to dive head first of the living room sofa or finish a bag of Cheesies at 8:30 in the morning…..

Well then, yes I am!

But when it’s all said and done, I’m glad that she is developing a sense of herself and the courage to express her feelings.

I just can’t wait for puberty…

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