supermomdoesntlivehere

Because motherhood will never be a perfect science

THE COUNTDOWN

Baby girl gave me the countdown the other day…yes, that’s what I said…the countdown.

It was bath time and she wasn’t in the mood to cooperate with Mommy. So she was running around and causing lots of mischief. Now Baby girl knows when she’s pushing the boundaries and she also knows just how darn cute she is so sometimes she tries to use her adorability factor to try to get away with stuff. She will just throw her head back and laugh as she refuses to put on her PJ’s or she’ll give me the big brown puppy dog eyes when I catch her putting her barrettes in her juice.

But I was tired and it was time for the girls to go to bed, plus Diva girl really wanted a story before she went to sleep so I was trying to factor all that in and make sure they still went to bed at a decent hour.

Sigh…

Well Baby girl wasn’t interested. Now, I had 2 choices…

Yelling.

Firm tone with consequences.

Yelling was my first inclination (yeah I know…bad mommy).

I went with the firm tone just so you know. Then I gave her the countdown.

1-2-3-4…..don’t let me get to 5

This usually works quite well, as the girls know that waiting until 5 is not their best option. Privileges and treats are in jeopardy and the threat of time spent in their room looms over them.

Well, she let me get to 5. Yes, she did. So she was put in her room while I helped Diva girl get ready for bed.

Now that the attention was no longer on her, Baby girl proceeded to wail at the top of her lungs (she was laughing in between so don’t feel too bad). Then she decided she wanted me to come help her get dressed after all, to which I said “When you are ready to listen to Mommy, then I will come back in there…”

The child started counting…

Now Diva girl is staring at me in shock and then she burst out laughing. I told her to stop and she said…

“But Mommy, it’s so funny!” and since I was trying not to laugh myself, I told her to try to laugh quietly so Baby girl didn’t hear us.

One…two….’free’….four….DON’T LET ME GET TO FIVE MOMMY!

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Seasons Change

Sigh…

Another summer nearly over.

Where does the time go?

Maybe it’s because I’m constantly reminded of how fast my children are growing.

Or how quickly they transition through different stages.

That makes me feel so melancholy when the season changes.

Their speech is clear and precise.

Their logic is often very hard to contradict.

They are independent and rebellious.

Their features are changing and the baby fat is quickly disappearing.

My heart seems to skip a beat whenever I look at them and see these things happening.

Diva girl starts grade one in September and Baby girl has one more year of daycare.

I’m not ready for the changes but it doesn’t matter because they happen anyway.

They say things like “Don’t worry mommy!” and “I’m a super big girl now!”

And I think….’Nope, you’re still my babies!’

But Diva girl told me the other day that if I called her ‘baby’ in public I would “totally embarrass” her.

Um….Hello?

I’m her mom. Embarrassing her is part of my job.

But as the fall season approaches and the weather gets eventually a little cooler (not too soon please)

I will give them both all the hugs I can get away with…

I’ll just tell them I’m trying to keep them warm

Little white lies….yup, that’s part of my job too….but only when absolutely necessary!

 

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YUP…I SAID IT

Have you ever tried to get a five year old to eat? Sigh…

Anyone would think I was trying to torture my child! I can’t believe this is the same girl who as a baby could eat anything you put in front of her. Let me take this moment to mention that she was sooo chunky! She was so cute you just wanted to squeeze her!

As I was saying…

We actually would have to wrestle the chicken drumstick from her pudgy little fingers as she ate every last morsel of the bone and attempted to devour the bone itself. She was only two at the time!

Oh, but now she is a sophisticated five year old with discerning tastes, that can take one look at her dinner plate and know through some children’s intuition that everything on her plate is “disgusting”.

I have been reduced to the typical “Do you know how many children are starving in the world?!”

Yup…I said it.

She just looked at me like I was crazy. I’m starting to think I am anyway…only crazy people try to reason with their children!

My mother thinks it’s some kind of Karma. When I was her age I refused to eat too. When my mother used the “starving children in Africa…” line on me…I told her she could mail my dinner to them since I didn’t want it.

Yup…I said it.

See how the ‘wheel of life’ turns???

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WHAT A NIGHT…

The girls have a habit of somehow ending up in my room at some point in the night. Diva girl isn’t so bad anymore, since she started school she is so tired that most of the time she sleeps right through the night. Baby girl still gets up once a night and I know that there are all kinds of advice out there about getting her to fall back asleep on her own, but man, some nights I’m so exhausted, all I want is peace. So yes, her sleep habits are not great and I am a bad mommy. Usually when they do end up in my room, I wake up achy and cranky because there are only so many legs, knees and elbows that I can fend off at 3am.

Sigh…

I complain to my mother and my co-workers and my friends about what a rough night I had because I couldn’t have my bed ‘child-free’ once again.

There’s a storm out there named ‘SANDY’ and she’s wreaking havoc all throughout the U.S. and Canada….

So, my girls are tucked neatly in my bed and I’m about to cuddle up and feel their warmth tonight…elbows and all.

Good night.

Be safe.

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TALK OF THE TOWN

Diva girl has always been a talker. Ever since the age of 18 months she has been talking in complete sentences and people always stop to ask me how old she, because she speaks so well.

My baby is a genius…OBVIOUSLY.

However, this stroke of genius can sometimes be a double edged sword. It is cute and cutting at the same time.

Cute: when she was 3 years old and would spend the night or weekend at Nana’s. She would call me every so often. If she got the answering machine she would say: “Hi Mommy, How you doin’? Good. See you tomorrow!”  It was so cute how she would ask and answer her own question and it was also cute that she ALWAYS  said see you tomorrow even when she knew it was time to come home. Did I not tell you the child is smart?

Cutting: when she is sent to her room as the consequence of inappropriate behavior she does not back down from the argument….EVER! she also will talk all the way to her room until she sees me on my way up the stairs then she yells the rest of her argument down at me as she makes a quick escape to her room.

Sigh….

Yes, my Diva girl is a very smart girl who an amazing vocabulary for one so young. Maybe she’ll be a lawyer? She can argue my insanity plea, since I’ll probably lose my mind by then!

I love being a mom!

No really, I’m not being sarcastic here…

Okay, maybe just a little.

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NO POTTY MOMMY!

Can someone tell me why it is so hard to potty train the little munchkin I call Baby girl???

This child has decided that the potty is not for her. Is she ready? I think she is. She tells me when she is having a pee or poo. She doesn’t like the feel of a poo in her diaper. She tries to dress and undress herself and is very independent. Aren’t these the markers for a child ready to potty train? Diva girl was using the potty quite successfully by this age. Yes, I know not all children do things at the same time. But seriously….I’m really trying to get out of the diaper stage before I go bankrupt!

Okay, that was a little melodramatic. But you know what I mean.

Baby girl is really clever too. She knows that if I suspect that she is having a poo, I will tell her that it’s time to use the potty so here’s her routine: stop playing and get really quiet; move to a secluded area like the corner of the sofa by the patio doors; when I ask if she is poo’ing, she holds up one hand to indicate that she needs some ‘me time’ and will not speak to anyone until she’s done; then when she is stinking to high heaven, she’ll either continue playing as if nothing’s happened or say “Mommy, I poo!” because no one would ever suspect…

My question is, isn’t that what the potty/toilet was made for? Some quiet time?

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SISTERS…

It has occurred to me on more than one occasion that as a mother of two young girls; one vivacious and dramatic; and one mischievous but also moody….

I AM IN BIG TROUBLE

These girls are not even anywhere in the realm of puberty and already I feel the gray hairs popping up when I imagine the mood swings and the dramatic outbursts.

I bet you think I’m exaggerating don’t you?

Well, when a completely calm request for your five year old to read a book she’s read a hundred times, turns into a crying fest that lasts for 30 minutes and you finally come to find out that she was too shy to read in front of her Nana that was visiting at the time… then you can judge for yourself.

Then there are the fights…

Baby girl is already telling her big sister to get out of her room; although it sounds more like “woom”. Baby girl is almost always the first to “throw a punch”. Not literally, but she’s not above handing out a kick or a slap in the head if she can get to her sister fast enough. Everyone that I talk to who has siblings tells me that this is normal. But being an only child makes it really hard to believe that the fights can happen so randomly and so quickly. One minute they’re hugging and singing and the next there are tears and fingers pointing and someone yelling…..that would be me of course.

I think the pre-teen years are going to kill me!

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IT’S THE DIVA IN HER

So at 5 years old, Diva girl has become more independent, more confident and….

MORE CRAZY!

Oh yes, I say crazy, because I sometimes think this child has LOST HER MIND!

When we’re out in public and she blatantly ignores the LOOK and laughs that beautiful laugh of hers as she misbehaves. It’s almost as if she’s daring me to make a scene. Now I’m not one for public displays, but I tell you, the child knows all of the ‘drive Mommy up the wall’ buttons to push and she is like the kid in the elevator….

She pushes every single one!

Sigh…

We have entered the arms crossed, foot stomping, bottom lip pouting phase. YAY!

“No, you can’t have that” and she takes the stance and depending on how she’s feeling that day, we may have tears just to make me feel special. But please do not forget the icing on top of it all….

“BUT MOMMY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

Or

“MOMMY, YOU’RE MEAN!”

Ouch…that really hurts. However, if being mean is a result of not allowing her to dive head first of the living room sofa or finish a bag of Cheesies at 8:30 in the morning…..

Well then, yes I am!

But when it’s all said and done, I’m glad that she is developing a sense of herself and the courage to express her feelings.

I just can’t wait for puberty…

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THINGS MY KIDS SAY…

Diva girl – when she knows she’s pushed my ‘last button’: “Mom, you’re so cute!”

Baby girl – when she finds something funny; she laughs and then: “Oh Gosh!”

Diva girl – “Mommy, when I tell you this joke…laugh okay?”

Diva girl – “Awesome!” and “That’s what I’m talking about!”

Baby girl – “Poppicle” means popsicle; “Yummy tummy” means something tastes good

Baby girl – when it’s time to comb her hair, she points to her sister and tells me it’s her turn

Diva girl – on the topic of more siblings (in my mind I’m screaming Hell No!): “You mean there’s only going to be two of us?!”

Did I mention yet again, that Diva girl is five and Baby girl is two? Okay, just checking.

They both know the chorus of (and I’m not proud): “I’m Sexy and I Know it” Sigh…I finally gave in and have the Little People’s Children’s Songs CD on repeat in my car. Don’t judge me.

When Baby girl is about to do something she’s not supposed to, she looks at me and nods her head; to which I shake my head no, and in response, she nods and laughs and proceeds to go ahead and do exactly what she’s not supposed to!

When I take something away from Baby girl that she shouldn’t be playing with, she’ll say: “No Mama, I Need it!” which usually sounds like “….I NEEN it!” I love toddler language.

Diva girl to her Nana – “Nana, you’re old like a dinosaur!” and just for the record, I’ve been fortunate enough to have the distinction of not being that old!

I’m touched….

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WOW!

Is it weird that I still have moments of “Wow, I’m a Mom!”?

When I look at my kids playing and discovering new things, I’m full of fascination and tears; happy ones of course; melancholy ones too, because I see how fast time passes. Diva girl thinks she’s more sophisticated than her 5 years and Baby girl tries to do everything her big sister does. They dance and laugh; they sing and pretend; they argue and defy all the while growing and learning and loving each other.

I pretend to be stern at times when a smile threatens to spread over my face. I watch them silently and openly as they tear the house apart; fight like cat and dog then kiss and hug and become friends again.

I remember when I wondered if I’d ever have kids. Now, I can’t even believe that they were never here!

They give me joy, they give me reason to worry, they make me crazy and then I start yelling.

But at the end of the day, we pray, we hug, we kiss and when they finally fall asleep….

I say to myself “Wow! These are my babies….I’m a Mom!”

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