supermomdoesntlivehere

Because motherhood will never be a perfect science

The Last Days of Summer

Today the girls had a play date with their cousin. I decided to take them to the park near our house. It was like pulling teeth with Diva Girl and her cousin because they wanted to stay inside and play Minecraft. Seriously? Baby Girl and I paid them no mind and got ready to go. They grumbled for a bit but by the time the park was in sight, they had forgotten the video games and made a beeline to the playground. It was cool today, a sign that summer is coming to a close and we were the only ones there for at least twenty minutes. Freeze tag was the game of choice and they proceeded to run and scream and laugh uncontrollably. I was suckered in to being a referee of sorts to ensure that everyone played fair and that Baby Girl didn’t get stuck being ‘it’ all the time, since she is the smallest and sometimes has to work harder to catch the others. After a while, a few other families began to arrive and there was one little boy in particular whose caregiver asked the girls if he could play.

And then there were four…

What I love about children is how open they are to new people, experiences, adventures and so on. Soon they were running and screaming each other’s names. The little boy who was the youngest was jumping and running with the rest. As it is with children when they play so vigorously, there are bound to be some bumps and bruises. Everyone had at least one fall into the wood chips that line the playground area. Baby Girl had a fall that left her in tears and the little boy was quick to offer the services of his dog for comfort (present with the caregiver) and advised her to pet him so that she could feel better.

Voila!

She was all better after that.

When it was time to go, the little boy said goodbye to them (twice to Baby Girl) and they all yelled ‘bye!’ to him as well.

Summer may be almost over, but beautiful moments can happen any time.

 

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In between 

Two weeks of summer break left and I feel as if I never even got started. I finally have a week off…the last week of the kids break. It’s not ideal but at least it’s something…I guess. As I sit here on a bench at the Waterpark while the girls run wild with their dad and their cousins it hits me once again how much I long to stay home with them. Find some type of career that will allow me to spend more quality time with them and also work towards my own goals. The sun is warm and I feel at peace amongst the chaos of all these families trying to squeeze in the last bit of summer fun. I wonder if I’m broken somehow.  I want to find a fulfilling job outside of the corporate world while still providing a sufficient contribution to the family finances but I have absolutely no idea how to go about it and there are times when I’m too scared to make a move. This ‘in between’ feeling is brutal. Fear of failure holding me back once again while I tell my children not to be afraid to try new things.

Hmmm…

Something’s gotta give.

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Almost Back to School

Time really does fly doesn’t it?

I mean with wings and all!

One day it was Baby Girl’s 5th birthday and the next we are in August and I’m going through their closets to determine what is needed for back to school.

Ugh!

Back to the regular routine and rushing the girls every morning to get ready…

Arguing about clothes, breakfast and moving just a little faster.

We’ve had a really good summer, I guess that’s why I’m having a hard time thinking about getting back into the school routine.

Who knows…

Maybe it’ll be me that has to be told to hurry up and eat my breakfast on that first day.

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SOME DAYS…

 

Some days I feel frustrated. Raising two kids and working full time. Trying to make sure my family is happy and secure. It’s not that I don’t want to do these things, but where is my time? When do I get a chance to just unwind and do something that is strictly for me? It seems as if I never have the time to do the things that I want to do; like write more often. Maybe even start a business. Sometimes I’m just too tired at the end of the day, that it just seems better to give in and give up. Between these feelings and then the guilt that follows, I feel unsettled and definitely frustrated.

Then I have a day like today. A beautiful day, not too hot, but just hot enough. Diva girl wakes up, and asks if she can go to church with her nana. Baby girl doesn’t cry when they leave, she just wants to go outside to blow bubbles. It’s 9 am on a Sunday in the middle of summer…why not? We blow bubbles from those dollar store jars of suds and she chases them and counts them…”1, 2, 5, 8!” After 15 minutes, she’s bored and we go back inside so that I can start cooking and she can change her dolly’s diaper. She sings and rocks her dolly to sleep and comes to tell me that she’s making dolly soup. Why not…?

When Diva girl gets home, we have lunch and then we try our best to conquer Angry Birds on the tablet. At five, she is already kicking my behind. The TV is off and the windows and doors are open. The girls are playing and arguing….but what else is new? Then they make up and we dance to a silly beat that they make up using unsharpened pencils as drumsticks.  We read a book, I change diapers and soothe hurt feelings and kiss boo boos.  We laugh, we hang out and my girls jump on me for tickle time.

What the heck is there to be frustrated about anyway?

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