supermomdoesntlivehere

Because motherhood will never be a perfect science

WARNING? WHAT WARNING?

Is it only me that has a six year old that has gone and lost her mind and thinks that raising her voice to me is okay?

As soon as I ask her something or begin to talk to her about her behaviour, the hands go up and so does the volume.

Now I’m from a time when trying something like that would have raised my mother’s eyebrows to the “Oh no you didn’t!” stage and I would be in quick retreat because I knew I had just stumbled into the war zone.

But my daughter seems completely oblivious to the war zone and the raised eyebrows. I’m sad to say that my Diva girl does not pick up the hint all that quickly. Warning signs mean nothing and she usually ends up in a time out or losing some privilege.

I asked her just this morning why she didn’t listen to the first warning (referring to our battle of wills today) and she just looked at me and shrugged her shoulders.

Sigh…

Do you think if I wore a neon vest and used a foghorn it might help?

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WEEKEND MORNINGS

There is something about weekend mornings that is just so great. The peace and quiet before most people are up and about. Birds chirping and the sunlight peeking through the blinds or curtains no matter how tightly drawn as if to say “Wake up! Today is too beautiful for you to waste a single moment!”

The day feels full of hope and accomplishment. Your plans to finish that project, or clean the house or finish that book, all seem so within reach. The rest of the family is still asleep which gives you time for reflection and gratitude.

Thank you for all the wonderful blessings.

Thank you for my family, health and strength.

Thank you for all the things that I am truly blessed to have but might possibly forget about temporarily once the kids wake up; the phone starts ringing; messes are made and plans are changed and I start yelling and complaining.

Sigh…

Weekend mornings are just so great.

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THERE IS A SNAIL IN MY HOUSE CONT’D

So….we still haven’t found the snail.

Is it possible for it to still be alive somewhere in the house, surviving on dust and humidity, slowly growing into a giant mutant version of its former self waiting for the day it can exact its revenge on the family that took it out of its natural habitat?????

What?

Too much?

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THERE IS A SNAIL IN MY HOUSE

 

Last week Diva girl came home with a snail. Not like she just picked up and brought it home, well I guess she did really. The teachers in their infinite wisdom, encouraged the children to collect a snail and put it in a Styrofoam cup with blades of grass and cover with saran wrap in which they poked a few holes.

So being the encouraging and open-minded mom that I am, my first thought when I saw this was…

EWWW….GROSS!!!

However, as I try to embrace (kind of) my daughter’s tomboy-ish phase and not freak out at every little thing, I let her bring that snail home. Besides, it really had moved all day (she assured me…)

We put it by the patio doors for light and then Diva girl and I would find another container to put it in.

Well, we couldn’t find anything and we were busy doing homework and getting ready for the next day.

I was exhausted, but I do remember asking her father if the snail would be fine where it was and he shrugged me off with one of those ‘you worry too much’ shrugs (you know the ones I mean) and said yes, it hadn’t moved since she’d brought it home.

Well, needless to say that when we woke up the next morning…

THE SNAIL WAS GONE

I said….THE SNAIL WAS GONE

Somewhere in my house, there is a snail on the loose. We looked all over the living room and cannot find it!

Really? How does a snail of all things finally decide to move so quickly that we can’t locate it??? Why would it want to go exploring in MY house? Why not stay with the grass?

It could be anywhere!!!

Ugh….THERE IS A SNAIL IN MY HOUSE

Sigh…I really hope it doesn’t find its way into Sunday dinner.

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FINALLY…

Okay, so I finally did it…

I took the plunge…

Not such a deep plunge I guess, unless you know me well and know what a truly private person I am.

Oh yeah…what am I talking about?

I’m finally on Facebook.

Yes, I know…that isn’t big news.

But I promise you, there are at least 3 or 4 people that have just fainted…

Now I just have to figure out what the heck I’m supposed to do on this thing!

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SHOPPING ADDICTS

So, both of my daughters have a bit of a problem…

They both like to shop!

I have absolutely NO idea where they would have gotten something like that from!

It’s baffling to the mind…they really must get it from their father’s side.

Wouldn’t have anything to do with my shoe and bag addiction.

Ummm….nope that can’t be it!

I’ve kicked that particular habit…ALMOST.

Baby girl is obsessed with her blue sparkly shoes and her purple tiara. But as soon as she gets a new pair of shoes, she has to put them on and parade around the house for hours….and I mean hours!

Diva girl wrinkles up her nose at ‘Hello Kitty!’ but will wear anything with cool graphics and bright colours…and please, oh please, let it not be a dress!

Sigh…who on earth is influencing my children?!

What’s that Sweetie? A 2 for 1 sale at where…?

Okay, I’m logging off now…

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Another Sunday Night

Another Sunday night. The kids are finally asleep and I think to myself “Great! Time for me to do something for myself!”

Let’s see…I could write, I could pay some bills, I could do some laundry…

So many things, so little time.

I vote…

Watch ‘Good Wife’ and go to bed!

Good choice.

Goodnight!

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THAT FEELING

You know that feeling you get when you watch your kids sleep?

I’m not talking about RELIEF after a particularly hard day.

I mean the warm, mopey feeling when you look at your sleeping child and just see the quiet innocence and beauty that is your baby, toddler, child, or teen.

Sigh…

Forgotten are the trials of the day. The arguments and yelling, chastising and cajoling that have completely exhausted you and drained you of motivation to do anything else.

There they lay, breathing softly; totally spent from a day of mini or major chaos; and now resting somewhere in dreamland.

You look at them and wonder why time insists on moving so quickly. Where has the baby fat gone? When did they get so big? Who will they be when they grow up? Will I have taught them all they need to know? Am I doing a good job as a parent? What more should I be doing?

All of these things go through your mind as you watch them sleeping. They follow you to bed and maybe visit your subconscious through your dreams. You may wake up feeling just a little melancholy for special moments that have already passed you by.

But you feel grateful for another day….

Then the kids get up and someone starts crying; someone refuses to brush their teeth and a fight ensues…

Has anyone figured out how to fast forward to bedtime???

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CALL ME CRAZY…

Does anyone else have a five and half year old daughter who you are almost certain is older than you first thought? I mean seriously…the girl has got to be a pre-teen in some alternate universe! When you have to endure pouting, folded arms, stomping, crying and the constant rendition of “that’s not fair!” almost every morning, it’s easy to accept one thing….

The child is crazy!

Okay, fine. But if she’s not, she’s about to make me crazy! I yell, I don’t yell. I bribe, threaten and cajole my way through every morning just trying to get us all ready for school, daycare and work and I tell you, every day is a new challenge. I’ve given her the ‘look’ so many times that the child just stops and LOOKS RIGHT BACK!

Oh yes she does!

She challenges me at every turn. She talks back right up to the point when she can see the steam rising from my ears and then she changes tactics and gives me the biggest hug. Just when I’m ready to pack her bags and send her over to her beloved Nana’s house until she’s 21, she’ll turn around and tell me she loves me.

Ooooh….that just makes me crazy!!!

Sigh…

When she’s feeling especially stubborn, she won’t move until I am beyond angry and then she’ll run to avoid the chaos that is her mother after reaching my boiling point. Then she cries like her heart is breaking because I have chastised and disciplined her for her behaviour.

Ugh…I’m a monster.

But on the occasions when Diva girl is being my happy, go-lucky daughter, she will help me with her little sister. She puts on her boots and zips up her coat. She will speak sternly to Baby girl, if she isn’t cooperating and it’s cute and comforting to see. She’s bossy and sweet all at once, even when her sister doesn’t like it.

Peace and tranquility…

Then they start fighting and pushing and yelling and crying and then here comes “that’s not fair!”

Oooohhhh….it makes me so crazy!

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NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

It’s almost a new year! Aren’t we supposed to come up with goals and resolutions around this time?

I’ve never been good with that kind of stuff. Even when I do come up with something, I forget it before January is over. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it no matter what time of year and if I’m not going to, then I’m just not going to no matter what season we’re in.

So the only thing I can think of that I am continually working on is being a better mom, a role model, someone my kids can be proud to call their mother…

Shouldn’t be that hard, since I’m already so close to perfect.

Okay, I couldn’t even finish typing that without laughing!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2013!

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