supermomdoesntlivehere

Because motherhood will never be a perfect science

Terrible Two’s???

Who says the two’s are terrible???

I DO!

Actually it starts around 16 months (in my humble opinion) and slowly builds as they months go by and I’m not sure terrible is the right word.

Hmm….frustrating, annoying, exhausting, make you wanna pull your hair out-ing. Sigh. Now I’m not even using proper grammar. That should tell you the state I’m in.

Baby girl is on an emotional rollercoaster lately and has decided to take me for a ride! She’s up, then she’s down and when she’s down….SHE’S HYSTERICAL! I don’t mean that as in hysterically funny either. I mean falling down on the ground, tears, screaming and throwing things…kind of hysterical. Problem is you don’t even see it coming sometimes. One minute she’s playing with her sister or singing a song, the next minute, I see a pout forming, “NO” spilling from her lips for no reason that I can figure out and then when you ask what’s the matter…..???? ‘Complete and total meltdown’.

When she’s in this state, nothing can soothe her. If it was something she wanted, she no longer wants it. If she was hungry and didn’t vocalize, she is no longer hungry, which is when the food ends up on the floor. If she is tired, she is too busy screaming to relax. What happened to my ‘happy, go lucky, mischievous’ little baby??? I tried to remember Diva girl at this age and if it was this bad, and I know I experienced the so-called terrible two’s….but this somehow feels like a new phrase should be coined. Tyrannical Toddler Time?  Crazy Kiddie Years?  Attack of the Hostile Offspring? Ballistic Brood?

Maybe I’m exaggerating. It could be the fact that Baby girl sent my cell phone flying across the lawn and proceeded to fall into a mass of screams and tears on the walkway in front of our house today.

Is it bad a thing that it took me a few seconds to decide which one I was going to pick up first…….?

Relax! I picked the baby up first. After all, she was closer!

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MOMMY’S HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM!?

Wikipedia defines tantrums as “an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in emotional distress…” These ‘outbursts’ are usually due to frustration. Screaming, kicking, and crying, rolling on the floor, crossed arms and other interesting actions usually signal that your child is frustrated by the fact that they can’t do or have everything they want.

Oh…so the child is frustrated?

Experts provide us with effective ways to deal with children in the throes of a tantrum and they say tantrums usually happen around ages 1 to 3.

Hmmm…That implies that I am too old for one, doesn’t it?

The other morning started off a little rocky. There is a four year old who refused to go to bed last night and is now refusing to ‘wake up’ because she is too tired to go to school. She’s too tired to brush her teeth, too tired to go potty, too tired to let me change her clothes. “Mommy, I don’t think I can go to school today, I’m just too tired!”

“I see. So you’re too tired to play with your friends? You need to go back to bed and not play with any toys or watch any TV, right?”

“I’m not that tired, Mommy!” Score one for me.

Her sister gets up and decides that she’s not walking today, she wants “up”. Being the multi-tasking dynamo that I am, I brush their teeth and wash their faces all with one free hand. Diva girl is now fresh-faced and dressed for school. Baby girl is still “up” and not getting down anytime soon. Every time I even try to put her down, she throws herself down on the ground crying. Okay, well we don’t have time for that right now, do we? We get downstairs and it’s time for breakfast. One handed wonder strikes again and cereal and juice and a “ba-ba” are made in no time flat! I AM MOTHER HEAR ME ROAR!

Baby girl is relaxing on the couch with her warm milk and I am allowed to change her diaper as she reclines and contemplates the trials and tribulations of being a toddler.  Life is good.

I now have 10 minutes to get myself ready. The TV goes on the kids’ channel and I run upstairs before Baby girl sees me leave. Clothes, hair and moisturizer (don’t worry, I already brushed my teeth!) and back down I go before they even knew I was gone. I make it downstairs just in time to stop a fight over a doll. Whew! Okay, time to go, let’s turn off the TV and get boots and coats on. Wait…what’s that smell? Baby girl, do you have stinky bum? “Yah!” she says as she races off laughing all the way. Oh sure, it’s fun for her! Mommy sees the time and we’re already 5 minutes past the time we should be outta here! I’ve got her and we are changing what appears to be the biggest poo in history! All done and hands washed. Let’s do this. Diva girl has dressed herself, so what if the boots are on the wrong foot? We are still very proud. Okay, everyone has their coats, boots and hats on. Where are your mittens? You don’t know? You don’t know?!

I lose it. I am now in full tantrum mode!

Sometimes it’s the one last, tiny, little thing that will set you off. You’ve coped with all you can and that one annoying situation sends you over the edge. Yelling and stomping begin.  Don’t worry; I didn’t resort to rolling on the ground. I’m in my work clothes, remember?

Did I mention that the experts say tantrums usually happen around ages 1 to 3?

What the heck do they know anyway?!

6 Comments »

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