What do you do when your child is under attack by another child?

Okay, so attack is a strong word…

But really, when you are teaching your child to respect others and follow the rules and then they come home to tell you that there is a child that picks on them or hits them or is mean to them on almost a daily or weekly basis….WHAT DO YOU DO?

When I was a kid, the choices were simple. My mother would be in the principal’s office before the morning bell rang the very next day. The principal would get an earful about not protecting her daughter, and the teacher would be drilled to the ‘Nth’ degree as to why she would let something like that happen. Then I would be required to take her down the hall or into the playground to show her the culprit and she would give them THE LOOK and that was the extra strength edition that meant “You crossed the line, kid!”

Oh yeah….my mom was that mom!

Diva girl has had run-ins with other kids since her days in daycare which is normal of course, as these little ones start to learn about respecting personal space, sharing and ‘using their words’ to express their feelings. Every incident is upsetting to her and always tugs at my heart. Now that she’s older and in school, it makes me angry and concerned when I hear that another child has hit her or bothered her in some way. Her father and I have both talked to her about choosing kids who play nicely as her friends and speaking up for herself and telling the teacher when she is feeling ‘bullied’.

The thing with my kid is….everyone wants to be her friend!

The Good, the Bad and the Bully!!!!!  (Thought I was gonna say something else, huh?)

Diva girl has always been a part of the group. Her group has always consisted of mostly boys and maybe one or two other girls. But she has always played hard and fast in the playground. The running joke in her daycare was that she needed her own incident report journal because there was never a week (and sometimes day) where myself or her father didn’t have to initial the page that detailed the accident she had while she was outside. When I’d ask her what happened, it usually started out with “I was running and…”

So she’s always played with lots of boys and they love playing with her because she can run as fast as they can and she is not afraid to climb, jump or roll as high or hard.

Sigh…doesn’t help the laundry situation, let me tell ya!

But being part of this group also leaves her a target to some aggressive behaviour and tough as she may sound, she is a very kind person and she’s not a fighter…AT ALL.  She can talk back like nobody’s business and she will not back down from an argument, but she also has not grasped the concept of defending herself from kids that forget to ‘keep their hands to themselves’. In daycare and school she has been taught to work through conflict with words and peaceful alternatives. Okay, I get that…and as her parents, we have always taught her to respect others.

But I’m her mom and when some kid walks up to her and punches her in the stomach or tries to bite  her….????

Ummm…..a hug or a high five isn’t really what’s crossed my mind.

Know what I mean?




Does anyone else have a five and half year old daughter who you are almost certain is older than you first thought? I mean seriously…the girl has got to be a pre-teen in some alternate universe! When you have to endure pouting, folded arms, stomping, crying and the constant rendition of “that’s not fair!” almost every morning, it’s easy to accept one thing….

The child is crazy!

Okay, fine. But if she’s not, she’s about to make me crazy! I yell, I don’t yell. I bribe, threaten and cajole my way through every morning just trying to get us all ready for school, daycare and work and I tell you, every day is a new challenge. I’ve given her the ‘look’ so many times that the child just stops and LOOKS RIGHT BACK!

Oh yes she does!

She challenges me at every turn. She talks back right up to the point when she can see the steam rising from my ears and then she changes tactics and gives me the biggest hug. Just when I’m ready to pack her bags and send her over to her beloved Nana’s house until she’s 21, she’ll turn around and tell me she loves me.

Ooooh….that just makes me crazy!!!


When she’s feeling especially stubborn, she won’t move until I am beyond angry and then she’ll run to avoid the chaos that is her mother after reaching my boiling point. Then she cries like her heart is breaking because I have chastised and disciplined her for her behaviour.

Ugh…I’m a monster.

But on the occasions when Diva girl is being my happy, go-lucky daughter, she will help me with her little sister. She puts on her boots and zips up her coat. She will speak sternly to Baby girl, if she isn’t cooperating and it’s cute and comforting to see. She’s bossy and sweet all at once, even when her sister doesn’t like it.

Peace and tranquility…

Then they start fighting and pushing and yelling and crying and then here comes “that’s not fair!”

Oooohhhh….it makes me so crazy!



So at 5 years old, Diva girl has become more independent, more confident and….


Oh yes, I say crazy, because I sometimes think this child has LOST HER MIND!

When we’re out in public and she blatantly ignores the LOOK and laughs that beautiful laugh of hers as she misbehaves. It’s almost as if she’s daring me to make a scene. Now I’m not one for public displays, but I tell you, the child knows all of the ‘drive Mommy up the wall’ buttons to push and she is like the kid in the elevator….

She pushes every single one!


We have entered the arms crossed, foot stomping, bottom lip pouting phase. YAY!

“No, you can’t have that” and she takes the stance and depending on how she’s feeling that day, we may have tears just to make me feel special. But please do not forget the icing on top of it all….




Ouch…that really hurts. However, if being mean is a result of not allowing her to dive head first of the living room sofa or finish a bag of Cheesies at 8:30 in the morning…..

Well then, yes I am!

But when it’s all said and done, I’m glad that she is developing a sense of herself and the courage to express her feelings.

I just can’t wait for puberty…